So, as no one reads this shit . .
Those thoughts have risen again.
The comfort that putting a noose around my neck would bring.  I've been dreaming about it for years.  And even attempted it once.  It felt good. Or at least, not scary.  And  no pain.

I feel like a failure in every sense right now.  I know I'm not.  If, for nothing else, I have the most fantastic kids and they really are the only reason I'm still here to type. I cannot burden them with me.

But, dear god. Tonight - tonight I wish I could. I'd go to Pink Floyd. I'm so looking forward to it. And then, the guilt gets me. I have kids, family, and even friends.  I know I'm not worthless in their eyes.  But, I so am in mine.

I'm just not good enough.  I fail at everything; I'm shit. I long for the pressure against my throat- I know it will be the relief I need.

Baby Blankets!

I've given up trying to make things to sell - people seem to think that hand made should mean cheap, and resent paying a decent amount for a blanket, scarf or hat, when they'd happily pay double that for something in store that was made on a machine in minutes.

So, I decided, as I didn't want to stop creating, to make for charity from now on.  This FB post shows some of my recent baby makes

Baby Blankets






I love using the variegated yarns for C2C blankets - I think they work really well. 

What do you think?

Lets Go Round Again!

We're going to give this whole thing another bash!

This time though, we're tying it in with an FB page, and I may paddle on the shores of Instagram and Twitter too! But before I get ahead of myself, a little recent history . . .

Last year I set up a page - The View from my Kitchen Window.  Documenting the changing of the seasons and hoping to spread ripples of hope and kindness.  However, I tried to do this in the year following the passing of my Dad, and I found keeping focused difficult.  I wasn't helped by having a bit of a dandelion brain.  Not that I've ever  been great at keeping this up!

Anyhoo - lets see where we get to.  Am trying to get some photo's off my phone of some recent projects that I've completed, but it's proving trickier than expected . . .  so watch this space and we'll see how it goes!